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You
Just Might Be A Graduate Student If...
...you can analyze the significance of appliances you cannot
operate.
...your carrel is better decorated than your apartment.
...you have ever, as a folklore project, attempted to track
the progress of your own joke across the internet.
...you are startled to meet people who neither need nor want
to read.
...you have ever brought a scholarly article to a bar.
...you rate coffee shops by the availability of outlets for
your laptop.
...everything reminds you of something in your discipline.
...you have ever discussed academic matters at a sporting
event.
...you have ever spent more than $50 on photocopying while
researching a single paper.
...there is a microfilm reader in the library that you consider
"yours."
...you actually have a preference between microfilm and microfiche.
...you can tell the time of day by looking at the traffic
flow at the library.
...you look forward to summers because you're more productive
without the distraction of classes.
...you regard ibuprofen as a vitamin.
...you consider all papers to be works in progress.
...professors don't really care when you turn in work anymore.
...you find the bibliographies of books more interesting than
the actual text.
...you have given up trying to keep your books organized and
are now just trying to keep them all in the same general area.
...you have accepted guilt as an inherent feature of relaxation.
...you reflexively start analyzing those Greek letters before
you realize that it's a sorority sweatshirt, not an equation.
...you find yourself explaining to children that you are in
"20th grade."
...you start referring to stories like "Snow White, et
al."
...you frequently wonder how long you can live on pasta without
getting scurvy.
...you look forward to taking some time off to do laundry.
...you have more photocopy cards than credit cards.
...you wonder whether APA style allows you to cite talking
to yourself as "personal communication."
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