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The
Top Ten Lies Told By Graduate Students
10. It doesn't bother me at all that my college roommate is
making $80,000 a year on Wall Street.
9. I'd be delighted to proofread your book/chapter/article.
8. My work has a lot of practical importance.
7. I would never date an undergraduate.
6. Your latest article was so inspiring.
5. I turned down a lot of great job offers to come here.
4. I just have one more book to read and then I'll start writing.
3. The department is giving me so much support.
2. My job prospects look really good.
1. No really, I'll be out of here in only two more years.
You Know You've Been In College Too Long When …
* You consider McDonald's "real food"
* You actually like doing laundry at home
* 4:00 AM is still early on the weekends
* It starts getting late on the weeknights
* Two miles is not too far to walk for a party
* You wear dirty socks three times in a row and think nothing
of it
* You'd rather clean than study
* "Oh f*** how did it get so late!" comes out of
your mouth at least once a night
* Half the time you don't wake up in your own bed and it seems
normal
* Minesweeper is more than a game it's a way of life
* You schedule your classes around sleep habits and soaps
* You know the pizza boy by name
* You go to sleep when it's light and get up when it's dark
* You live for getting mail
* Looking out the window is a form of entertainment
* Prank phone calls become funny again
* It feels weird to take a shower without shoes on
* Whole wars can take place, and you are clueless (no connection
to the outside world)
* You start thinking and sounding like your roommate
* Blacklights and highlighters are the coolest things on earth
* Rearranging your room is your favorite pastime
* You find out milk crates had so many uses
* Wal-mart is the coolest store
* The weekend lasts from Thursday to Sunday, (or Wednesday
morning to Tuesday night)
* You are sitting around making lists about how you know you've
been in college too long.
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